That's Christmas for me
by Raineel
Summary: I just didn’t understand Christmas itself. What was to celebrate? The birth of the child whose followers doomed people like myself? The already dead Saint Nicolas? Money? ShizuNatsu. Shizuru's POV. A X-mas fic.


**Author's Note:** Well, until we get back to the other…uh, extra 4. Let enjoy this update, yes?

A little Christmas fic –shrug- what can I say? Perhaps this year got me all Christmas-ed. Enjoy but be warned, it is not betaed. This is part of My Hime Manga –my version- Universe. You don't have to read it to fully understand it thought you might not understand some parts.

Oh, and I will be forever grateful with whoever can point out my mistakes since CrazyNinjaPenguin is a bit busy with another chapter and his own. This is fic was a thing of the moment.

Warning? What warning? There's no warning pshh, just enjoy. Its fluff…half of it xD

**Disclaimer:** I owe noooothing. Absolutely nothing.

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**That's Christmas for me**

_Hypocrisy is a funny thing for us humans, more when it comes to festivities. Take Christmas for example. _

_That was my initial thought._

I faked a polite smile and accept the tenth gift of the day. Sometimes, Christmas was as bad as Valentine's day. You might wonder why "was", don't you? I suppressed what certain ice Princess tended to say to be my "chestnut grin". Let's just say that my beloved made it clear that I was taken and that nobody should give me anything in Valentine's day but her.

"Tha-ank you for accepting my gift, Miss Fujino." The girl stuttered out, obviously embarrassed and nervous.

I chuckled, her blush was nothing close to hers. This was one was simple, void of life. Natsuki's blush was vivid, more than natural. But, above everything else, that lovely strawberry color face was just for me to provoke and enjoy.

"I…I hope you like it."

"Thank you." I replied, almost forgetting about her when I thought about the full body blush I saw on my birthday. Ah, such fond memory.

I waved her goodbye until she was far from my eye sight before sighing. It was troublesome, to say at least. I glanced around, thankful when I saw no sign of any of Natsuki's or my fans. Then I decided it was time to find and see what my beautiful ice Princess was doing. As I walked toward the rooftop of the school, knowing that Natsuki was napping or "lazy-ing around" there, I couldn't help but be reminded of my previous thoughts.

I hated the girl, hated the idea that with pretty gifts I might give her a chance. Mind you, a normal bystander might just think nothing wrong of it, but I knew better. My years of practice had showed me when people were trying to deceive me. I knew that part of our fans accepted the idea of my relationship with Natsuki –not that I needed their acceptance or blessing whatsoever. But, I also knew that another didn't approve. They were jealous, saying that Natsuki had stolen my purity. I chuckled. Now, that is just hilarious. Sweet Natsuki doing that? She might have been the one who initiated the relationship but that was all. I chuckled again, those were very fond memories.

But, back to the subject. I hated what the girl represented. What society had turned her and millions others into.

"I…thought you might like it." A boy that I passed said, his face covered with a light crimson that matched the other boy.

"You…I mean…thank you." His companion replied, nervous and embarrassed.

Why? I couldn't understand it. I really couldn't understand the concept of giving gifts on Christmas. No, that wasn't right. I just didn't understand Christmas itself.

What was to celebrate? The birth of the child whose followers doomed people like myself? The already dead Saint Nicolas, also known better as Santa Claus? The profit the big companies gained around this time? Really, was there anything to celebrate?

That aside, I found it insulting. The idea of people who needed this day as an excuse to forget everything. I scoffed, remembering those shows on the television about Christmas and how my classmates acted. They all hated each other, jealous of what they couldn't and wouldn't have. But it all changed. On December they no longer hated, they faked. They acted as if they were all friends, as if they have never hurt each other, as if they knew one another since childhood. It was disgusting. The way they acted, especially when they went back to their selfish selves when New Year Day ended. They should at least have the decency to act properly, don't you think? Be the selfish or the selfless.

I knew why the acted like that. They wanted gifts, they wanted people to remember them. They wanted to be loved. Fantasize that for a moment, they had it all. Yet, I believe is just human hypocrite ways of being that makes them act like this.

I sighed. Christmas was such a strange and complicated holiday. I might never truly understand it. And part of me knew why, another just didn't want to be reminded. The days were too close, the memories were still fresh in my head. I shook my head, trying to suppress the memories. I might have moved on, accepted that my mother was dead. But it didn't mean it hurt less. I sighed. I wanted my Natsuki-chin already by my side.

"Shizuru." She called me when I arrived. Her low, husky voice sending shivers all over me.

I closed the door before approaching her. She gulped. I knew she noticed my eyes, a bit darker than usual since hers were the same. A smirk adorned my face when I saw the familiar blush emerging.

"Na-tsu-ki." I called her as I sat next to her, snuggling as close as I could.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" She asked while taking my hand and intertwined our fingers, "I thought you had a meeting?"

"How could I? After all, my Vice-President wasn't present." I teased, giggling when she harrumphed. Natsuki is too cute for words.

"Haruka make it very explicit that I shouldn't be there, I quote 'You distract that stupid bubuzuke! So leave! Shush! I can handle it on my own'."

I laughed, and soon enough Natsuki was too. It was just Haruka's way to protect me since we have rebuilt our friendship. We smiled at each other, grateful for this quiet moment.

"So…are you going?" Natsuki asked tentatively.

"Natsuki…"

She sensed my hesitation and discomfort. I almost chuckled as she began babbling. "I mean you…don't have to. But I will like…really like it if you did. I am not trying to force you or anything. I know you told me that you didn't like it. Yet here I am trying to persuade you again…" she trailed off as I began giggling.

It was not my fault. She is too cute when she is flustered and babbling.

"Shizuru!"

Ah, that pout. Sometimes I wonder if Natsuki is the one who teases me and not the other way around.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

She raised an eyebrow, not believing my words. I chuckled. She was right, I really did mean to laugh. Then again, I knew my ways with her.

"Shiz…"

I tried to suppress a new set of giggles. Natsuki knew that she wasn't the only one with the power of the puppy eyes and pout. She should have known better than that.

Natsuki tried to look away and I held her wrist, slowly making circles with my finger. I was winning. It was just matter of time. She sighed and I knew I had won yet again.

"Alright, I forgive you."

"Ookini, Na-tsu-ki." I said and kissed her cheek.

"Shi-shizuru!"

I giggled, didn't I say it? Natsuki is too cute for words.

"Stop trying to avoid the subject, Shizuru. You know it won't work for much longer." She said, stopping my new set of giggles.

I sighed. She was right. But it didn't mean I wanted to talk about it right away. Part of me was a little angry at myself, having used this tactic too many times to avoid talking about my past. Natsuki now saw through it.

"Shizuru?"

"Natsuki knows better than anyone. I don't like this kind of…stuff."

I knew I was acting like a spoiled child. A role I took easily and with pleasure when it was just Natsuki and I.

"But, is just us, Shizuru. Not any stranger, not any outsider. Just the Himes and their Keys. There's no acting in it."

Can you believe it? Kuga Natsuki, Fuuka Academy Ice Princess, the self proclaimed Lone Wolf trying to persuade me to go to the Himes Christmas Party? Something was definitely wrong here. Our roles had been reversed. Usually it was I who insisted, who tried to persuade Natsuki to celebrate Valentine's day, her birthday, White's day, and those silly festivities that I knew might be rewarding. Mind you, it was just for the fun to tease my beloved. Natsuki always ended grumbling and saying something like, "Why should I limit myself to a day? I could just use any day to show you my love or how important you are". It flattered me, but what can I say? I just liked those days…except the part of gifts. Like Valentine's day, it is slowly turning into what Christmas is now. A day when people wasted more money than usual in expensive and exaggerated gifts for the benefit of the great companies out there. I might do something about it some time soon.

I sighed. It seemed I was doing that a lot today. Of all the festivities I could think, I never asked for those two. I never asked her for Thanksgiving nor Christmas. Those two holidays were too close to us. Too painful for me. So why did Natsuki insisted in celebrating Christmas when she didn't celebrate Thanksgiving? Because of Alyssa and Miyu. More precisely, because of Alyssa.

"I…don't know." I said before standing up and started pacing around.

It was a bad habit of mine. I tended to feel the need to walk when I really didn't want to talk about something. Natsuki knew this and waited. Just like always she waited, patiently until I chose to speak.

"I don't understand Christmas. It's too complicated. People act too strange too. They…" My thoughts were a mess as were my words. But I continued, hoping that my lover understood what I was trying to say.

"They are touching, hugging, and smiling at each other. And…and children! Children are all running around, hands up, waiting for toys to drop from the sky or….or waiting for Santa Clause! Yukino agrees with me! The idea of one single, and already dead man, bearing gifts all over the world is just impossible. And…and Rudolph? A reindeer with red nose? Or little, short people making toys almost the entire year? What were they called anyway?"

I looked at Natsuki. My eyes shining with confusion but she still waited. I wasn't done just yet.

"And the songs! Songs don't really make sense! They aren't logical! I…I just really don't understand Christmas…that's all." I said and sat back, needing my lover's arms around me.

Natsuki knew why I didn't like Christmas. She knew that Mama didn't celebrate it either. She knew that for me, there was only pain. I didn't just lose mother on December, I had also lost Natsuki too. It was a terrible month.

"There's nothing really to understand, you know." Natsuki began explaining as she stroke Shizuru's chestnut locks, "Its true, unlike other holidays, Christmas has many different motivations. Some good, some bad. But…does it matter Shizuru? Do you really want to understand Christmas at all? Because…Christmas really has nothing to understand. At least, not for me."

Natsuki paused and continued when she noticed I wasn't going to say anything else.

"When I was little, all I cared about was the gifts. But, when I started living with Miyu and Alyssa, I learned gifts weren't everything. I was a child who had lost everything, that was my thought. But then, I got Miyu and after that Alyssa. I understood their importance. They had saved me, they were my family now and I wanted them to know that.

"Christmas seemed to be the appropriate holiday to choose. Alyssa liked it, and neither Miyu nor I could deny anything to our little sister. Its true, it hurt to remember that my mother died on that week but, like I told you when we first met. Being sad, will just make them sadder. I have moved on but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or that I have forgotten about it."

"Natsuki…" I mumbled, astonish at the level of maturity she was showing me. I heard a chuckled before she continued.

"Just try it, Shizuru. Ignore anything logical, ignore tradition, ignore it all." She lifted my chin and I stared at her bright, jade eyes. They were hypnotizing, just like her voice. "And just enjoy what you can. If you want, just think about me, of us and nothing else. Just think about our love."

Christmas is a holiday when people waste money trying to buy the most expensive gifts possible for others. It is a time where the big companies take over us, trying to persuade us to keep raising the market. It is a time where children are more obsessed with toys than any other, were they can't help but get out of their beds early on Christmas day to try to sneak on Santa Clause. It is also a time to remember the birth of boy that saved us but whose followers condemn people like myself. A time, were people can't help but act friendly even though they don't want to. It's a time full of hypocrisy. A time when once all I could think of was pain and mourn.

But now, I stare at Natsuki's hopefully eyes and smile, glad when she grinned back. Now is a time that I can have fun and enjoy the festivity with no worries because this time, it will be alright. I have Natsuki by my side and that is all that matters to me. Natsuki's love is enough for me, enough to suppress the pain.

"Alright, I will go." I said, snuggling closer to her.

_That's Christmas for me._

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Omake:

Shizuru: -reads the card- Hmm…

Natsuki: Hey, Shizuru. Who is your secret Santa?

Shizuru: -looks at Natsuki- I refuse to assist to this celebration.

Natsuki: -blinks- What? –thinks- -panics- Wha-a-t? But! But you just said you will!

Shizuru: I refuse to be her secret Santa! –starts whining like a little child-

Natsuki: -tries to calm Shizuru-

Rainee-chan: -picks the card- Huh, now this is funny. What can I give her? I potion to make her actually 17 years old? –shows the card to readers: Sugiura Midori-

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Hmm…it was bubuzuke right? Hmm oh well, someone will eventually correct me. Oh, and sorry if Shizuru sounded mean or something bad…I just put my thoughts on her. Don't kill the messenger if you don't like the message.

Oh, and for those who wonder why this isn't considered extra, its…I have no idea now that I think about it xD ooooh! Now I remember, this fic serves no purpose in the My version of the My Hime Manga world (Believe it or not, each extra I do is to explain something. There is nothing explained regarding the my hime manga in this story. That is, if you don't count the revelation of Shizuru not liking Christmas.). So, yeah. I really don't have another excuse for this. Just bear with it –grins-

Happy Holidays everyone and please review, yes? As my Christmas present? Pretty please?

P.S. I like chibi Shizuru, she is cute. It makes me want to hug her and never let her go….until a feel a gun against my head.

P.S.S. I didn't plan to update it so fast. I seriously didn't. But, a couple reviews on my recent updates and a certain update of something made me all giddy and happy. So I wanted to contribute and update x3


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